A few days from now the TV reality show, “Presidential Debate” will be aired. Tens of millions of people will tune in to the “debate of our lifetime; the debate that could alter the course of American Democracy.” So many questions and plot lines. It’s a media feeding frenzy.
Can Joe Biden stand up for 90 minutes? Will he drool?
Can The Don shut up for just a few minutes? Will he leave his side of the stage and charge Biden like an agitated bull?
Will Biden forget where he is and wander off the stage?
Will The Don’s free association, which can stray so far from reality, lead him to pronounce that God visited him and revealed that it was he that the Ten Commandments were delivered to, that truth be told, he was actually Moses.
Though promoted as a debate, this will be nothing more than a circus. The Don has no interest in debating. His only purpose is to degrade and humiliate Biden. So I ask: Why is Joe Biden allowing the master of Reality TV to have a forum for his lies and denials of reality? Why is Biden giving The Don a stage to perform his “ I am a strong, virile leader who can save America from it’s descent into darkness, save it from the Biden communist deep state crime family, from the weak, incompetent and doddering fool whose shuffle makes him look like he’s squeezing a quarter between his butt cheeks?”
The answer is that Biden and his team believe they have to prove to the country that he can stand up to the erratic bully and show, through his steadiness and seriousness, that he is the real deal, not the Orange Jesus (or Moses?) He has to show the American people that being the president is a job about dealing with reality, not a reality TV show.
Sadly, many Americans see The Don’s bombast and aggression as signs of strength, rather than the shallow and pathetic 6 year old that he is. Since the debate will not be measured by many on substance, but more as a WWF event, The Don can easily emerge victorious. “Me strong man, he weak and pathetic!”
We all know that The Don believes he can mow Biden down, pummel him till he cries “uncle.” He wants to show America and the rest of the world that Biden drools and he rules.
Speaking of rules, Biden did win a pre-game victory by getting The Don to agree that the opponent’s microphone will be cut off when the other speaks. The point hope is prevent The Don’s incessant need to interrupt and speak over Biden; it’s an attempt to institute chaos control, less disruption and actual meaningful conversation. To that I say to Jake Tapper and Dana Bash of CNN, good luck, but fat chance you can stop the raging narcissist from disrupting and distracting. Since when does turning off a microphone stop The Don from saying whatever he wants? Since when does creating rules have any impact on The Don’s behavior?
During his trial he violated his gag order many times despite increasing the chance of jail time. So God speed to Jake and Dana. How far will you go to enforce the rules? Will you kick him off the stage, at least give him a time out, if his bellicosity and belligerence become front and center of this reality show? Frankly, I hope you are at your own CNN Camp David figuring out how to neutralize the raging bull.
People, all I can say is that it is going to be a “shit show.”
Presently, Biden is at Camp David prepping for the circus. The Don is on the campaign trail spouting lies and nonsense. He doesn’t need to prep because he has nothing substantive to say. In his mind, he is going to a street fight where he believes his words will disarm and dismantle Biden. If I’m doing the prep, I would employ the following strategy. I call it the strike first takedown.
Opening remarks:
I’m honored to be here in front of the American people, but dishonored and disturbed by the fact that the Republican candidate for president is a convicted felon, a rapist, guilty of tax and insurance fraud, and someone who tried to overturn our election. This is a man who says he will be a dictator on day one; a man who supports restricting abortion and gleefully gloats about being responsible for overturning Dobbs, denying womens right to make decisions about their own bodies and healthcare, at times, putting their life at risk; a man who wants to take our Justice Department and turn it into a personal vendetta machine; a man who wants to deregulate and undo all the rules that protect our environment; a man who has promised billionaires to extend their tax breaks, further increasing the inequities between the haves and have nots. A man who, during a horrifying pandemic that took over one million American lives, suggested that Americans should drink bleach to cure the virus.”
“Would you trust this man with your money; would you trust this man with your teenage daughter? Would you trust this erratic, impulsive and dangerous man to have control of the nuclear codes? This is a man who is only for himself and is determined to undo our democracy. I am for you, the American people. I am for democracy. America, we can do better than that.”
Now that’s what I call a ‘drop the mic “moment.” IF you are going to meet someone for a fight and you know they cheat and don’t play fair, you need to hit them first, take away any advantage they, neuter them right off the bat.
During the debate, I would advise Biden to do his best to ignore The Don. Every time he speaks, Biden should just think about something wonderful he is going to do for Jill or for the country. Or, an alternative would be what I call the blah, blah, blah strategy, which is exactly what it sounds like. When The Don is speaking Biden should be saying blah, blah, blah to himself. The goal of all this is to neuter The Don’s lies and aspersions so they have no impact on him. Then when it is your turn to speak he responds: like Ronald Reagan said, “There you go again.” And use these add ons:
“There you go again making no sense.”
“There you go again being out of control.”
“There you go again acting crazy.”
“There you go again lying so much I lost count at 10.”
Then Biden should calmly respond to the question that was asked, pretending that The Don doesn’t exist. Speak to the American people, not to him. This will infuriate and humiliate him. This will ramp up his anger and craziness, which will hopefully get to the point that more people will start seeing this guy as truly unhinged and dangerous. (Why we still have the prove this boggles the mind!)
Here’s my take on The Don going down the rabbit hole of absurdity.
Jake Tapper: Can you tell us your thoughts about the Supreme Court and Republican legislators using the Comstock Act to try to ban access to Mifepristone?
The Don: First of all as an investor in Comcast stock, I resent all this bad mouthing of the company. It’s messing with my portfolio.Second, what the hell is Mifepristone? My advisors said you would go after me and suggest that I was cozying up to Mephistopheles, aka, the devil. Haha, bet you didn’t think I knew who he is. Is Mifepristone an offspring of that other thing I just mentioned. Let me be very clear: The idea that I am the spawn of that Meph, whatever you call it, is a bold-faced lie.
Dana Bash: Recently Louisiana passed a bill requiring all schools to have a copy of the Ten Commandments in the classroom. Do you feel this is okay, or are you concerned that it violates the constitution’s notion of the separation between church and state?
The Don: Good one Dana. So many things to say about this. I just love talking about the Ten Commandments. It’s the top of my top 10 lists. First of all, I’ve never understood why people are so beholden to the constitution. What’s the big deal? It’s just the words of a bunch of very snooty guys deciding what is what. Now the Ten Commandments is something different. That comes from God. You know my followers believe I’m the savior and I have to agree with them, but a few have suggested I’m really Moses and that God delivered the Ten Commandments to me personally. And that’s probably true as well.
So what was your question?
Dana: Schools. The Ten Commandments in schools?
The Don: Yes, schools. God’s word should definitely be in the schools, but God has recently let me know that I can revise them if I want.
Dana: Revise them? For instance?
The Don: Take number 1. Really like number 1: “I am the lord thy God.” Bet you didn’t think I knew any of them. Well, I am going to change that to: I am the lord thy Trump. Just a small alteration. My people are pushing for this and you know, I am nothing without my flock.
How about number 6; it’s too restrictive. “Thou shall not murder.” I mean I get that generally, but given all the people out there who are trying to destroy me, I may have to smite some people. Like that word smote, such a biblical word, so biblical, a great biblical word.
Number 7. Now that’s so ridiculous I am going to just take that out. That adultery thing is being used against me. I never met Stormy Daniels. So just have to take that out. So I guess now there are only 9 commandments. Zippity doo dah. Easy peasy.
And number 8. “Thou shall not steal.” Such a joke. Everyone steals. That’s how you get ahead in America so we get rid of that one. So now there are 8.
And what’s this number 9 thing? Don’t bear false witness against your neighbor? That’s so ridiculous. My entire campaign is based on misinformation, distortion and lies. Fat chance. So that one is definitely out.
Number 10 is also ridiculous. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or servant, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
The first part of that has got to go. I mean, lots of wives love, love, love me so it’s tough not to covet. Really tough not to covet, What the hell does covet mean anyway. That part has got to go. And what’s with the donkey thing? Who would want to covet a donkey? God must have been drunk when he wrote that, that’s why he chose Trump to amend it all. Did I answer your question, Dana?
Dana: President Biden, do you have a response?
Biden: Yeah, as Ronald Reagan said: There you go again speaking nonsense and acting crazy. And about those donkeys. Take a look in the mirror you jackass!
The Grand Offal Party 