Not Eggsactly

Democracy vs eggs: A clear choice for the American people and the price of eggs won.

Yes, the average American was struggling to afford basic groceries, but decided that the person who has never been to a grocery store, nor ever had a thought about anything as trivial as the price of eggs, would bring their costs down. Rally around this slogan: “Three Egg Omelettes Will Be Affordable Again!”

The people decided that someone who declared bankruptcy seven times would use his business savvy to bring down costs. The people believed that the great “Scammer-in-Chief” knows how to work the system and can make it work for them. 

During the campaign, The Don promised to help the people.

“Prices will come down,” he said during  a rally in August. “You just watch: They’ll come down, and they’ll come down fast, not only with insurance, with everything.”

“We will end inflation and make America affordable again, and we’re going to get the prices down, we have to get them down,” The Don said. “It’s too much. Groceries, cars, everything. We’re going to get the prices down.”

Of course these were lies, as presidents don’t have the power to single-handedly bring down prices, just like they don’t control the level of inflation. Unfortunately, the American people don’t understand that, and they want to believe that someone will swoop in and fix it for them. But now that The Don has been elected, he is doing a bit of backtracking, trying to soften the blow of his unachievable promise to the people. Here’s what he said a few days ago:  

“I’d like to bring them down. It’s hard to bring things down once they’re up. You know, it’s very hard. But I think that they will.” 

Notice the way he slowly disentangles himself from the promise. I’d “like” to as opposed to “we are going to.” It’s “hard to do it” as opposed “we are going to do it.” I “think they will” as opposed to “We’re going to get the prices down.” 

The Don will continue his masterful disengagement from his false promises. Next will be “Maybe we can get them down, but we have to produce more chickens. It’s so sad, but we don’t have enough space for chicken coops in this country. It’s a real problem.”  

Then it will be “I’m fighting like hell for your eggs, but because of all the terrible things Biden did -I mean he ruined the economy-I don’t think I can do it. Even when the Biden crime family leaves the scene, you still suffer because of their actions. He deserves to be prosecuted for not caring about the American people and I am going to have “Cash” Patel investigate him and his other anti-American crew for bringing undue hardship to the American people. It’s kind of treasonous, don’t you think? Biden’s policies have messed up your lives, shortening your lives because of the stress it has caused you.”

The only way to get prices down is to go after the unconscionable price gouging of corporations who only are beholden to their stockholders (all of which don’t have problems paying extra money for eggs!) At least Kamala Harris said she would go after companies who were price gouging, taking advantage of supply chain issues caused by the Covid pandemic, which spiked in inflation and the cost of eggs. I don’t know how effective she would have been, but at least she was calling out the real culprit: corporate greed. 

The Don, on the other hand, is synonymous with greed and would never entertain the idea of battling corporations and bringing them to task for exploiting consumers for profit. Corporations have only one audience: shareholders. The Don is their champion. As I’ve said many times, The Don and his cronies do not care one shit about the average American’s struggles with the price of eggs.

The Don is a master at playing on Americans gullibility and discontent; he creates narratives that play into their need to believe someone could fix things. The Don’s capacity to convince people that he will be their savior plays well to a public in which 70 percent believe in angels? (That’s right, 70!) Not only does The Don have little power over the price of eggs, but his proposed economic policies-from excessive tariffs, to tax breaks for the wealthy and deporting millions of immigrants, will raise the price of eggs. At some point, will the people he promised cheaper eggs recognize that he took them for suckers, that he has his fingers crossed whenever he makes a promise?

When the price of eggs rise he will say “But these are the best eggs you have ever had. Sometimes you have to pay more for something great”. Is there a breaking point for the believers? Is there a Marie Antoinette moment in the near future? In her case, her arrogance and disregard for the people epitomized by her callous declaration of “Let them eat cake,” led to her beheading at the guillotine. Will Americans finally become so enraged by the lies and unconscionable greed of The Don and his cronies? Let’s hope so. Most likely there will be no beheading, but what about Americans signing up to pelt The Don and his cronies with eggs? Maybe with enough egg on their faces, they will look less like people we want to entrust our lives to and more like the disgusting, shameless and greedy people they are. 

On another note, what do you think of RFK Jr’s questionnaire to weed out people who are applying for jobs in the Department of Health and Human Services? Here are three of the statements you would need to respond to.

“I don’t have much preference for having sexual experiences with another person.”

“I believe in things many others don’t – like having a ‘sixth sense,’ clairvoyance, and telepathy – and as an adolescent, I had bizarre fantasies or preoccupations.”

“I require excessive admiration” or “I don’t have that much interest in having a sexual experience with another person.”

At first look, you might say WTF? Taking a closer look (wearing my hat as a psychologist), I realized these were questions from a psychiatric diagnostic text. They are meant to weed people out who may have deep personality flaws that could become problematic in creating a healthy work environment. Seen from that perspective it makes some sense. The goal is to weed out narcissists (“I require excessive admiration”), those with Schizoid personality (“no interest in sexual experience”), and people who may have psychotic tendencies (“I believe in many things others don’t…”)

Makes sense. But here’s the irony of it all. The Don and a number of his appointees, including RFK Jr., would be rejected and never get past phase one of the interview process as they are both narcissists.

The Don and Kennedy also suffer from delusions of grandeur which would be a disqualifier as well. 

What I am intrigued by is what RFK considers the correct response.

Let’s take the question about sex. Maybe answering yes is the answer they are looking for. No interoffice affairs. No HR cases brought for sexual misconduct. But on the other hand, maybe they want to rule out people who have no interest in sex because they want to make sure their capacity for sexual assault is in line with The Don’s people. 

As far as the rule out for psychotic symptoms, maybe you get ruled out for saying you didn’t have these experiences as an adolescent. Maybe they are looking for people prone to these experiences because they will more easily buy into their crazy policies like discontinuing the polio vaccine.

Seek some peace and joy over the holidays because the new year is going to test us in ways we never could imagine. And if you are looking for a last minute gift, there’s always Cheryl Hines beauty products. Wonder what Larry David (Cheryl Hines played his wife on his show) thinks of all this. My guess he would be dripping with sarcasm and say something like: “So this is what you do with your life Cheryl. You need to realize how ridiculous you have become. I frankly am sorry that I ever cast you as my wife on the show because you are even too weird for me. And tell Bobby I’ll challenge him to a pushup contest anytime, anywhere. I think that six pack is fake.!