Burn This

Remember the infamous missing 18 and half minutes of tape recording from the Watergate hearings? Rosemary Woods, who was transcribing the recording, claimed that she was reaching for the phone and accidentally kept the record button on which taped over the original conversation. There’s a famous photo of Woods re-creating the moment, in which Woods attempts to keep her foot on the dictaphone (stone age recorder) pedal and reaches for the phone on the other side of her desk at the same time. Some have jokingly referred to it as the “Rose Mary Stretch.”  It was all very preposterous.

In the end, the missing minutes were further evidence of Nixon’s wrong doings and Tricky Dick resigned the presidency to avoid being impeached and convicted of obstruction of justice, abuse of power, and contempt of Congress. The only reason he resigned was because it was clear to him that he had lost the support of his party and was doomed. Them were the “good old days”, when Republicans believed in democracy, the rule of law, and could at least pretend to have a sense of morality.

In the current Republican party, there is no way that Tricky Dick would have been convicted. Missing tape, meh? After all, our former president fomented (and most likely helped organize!) an insurrection and it turns out that it’s no biggie.

Fast forward to the present, and surprise, surprise, turns out that there are 7 hours of phone logs missing during the January 6th insurrection. Take that Tricky Dick! How is this possible when the president uses designated devices where all phone calls are recorded and logged?

Burner phones. Yep, burner phones! You know, the kind drug dealers and criminals use so they can’t be traced? Our president was using secret phones? Of course, he was. Who knows how many conversations he had with Putin on burn phones while he was president?

When the news broke, The Don’s response was “I don’t even know what a burner phone is.

Don’t you wonder who he was talking with during that time?

We will get back to that in a moment.

Equally troubling was the discovery of Ginni Thomas’s texts. Yes, Ginni of Ginni and Clarence Thomas. Turns out this patriot was deeply involved in trying to overturn the election and reinstall The Don. Who knows what Clarence knew about her activities? He sure knows about her far-right politics. Maybe we will find some texts on Clarence’s phone that says: “That’s my gal. That’s why I married you.”

Ginni was quite something. A top shelf insurrectionist. Here are a few of her texts to Mark Meadows prior to January 6th.

 “Help This Great President stand firm, Mark!!! … You are the leader, with him, who is standing for America’s constitutional governance at the precipice. The majority knows Biden and the Left is attempting the greatest Heist of our History,”

“Sounds like Sidney (Trump lawyer Sidney Powell) and her team are getting inundated with evidence of fraud. Make a plan. Release the Kraken (a mythological sea creature) and save us from the left taking America down.”

Here’s one from four days after the riot on Capitol Hill.

Thomas wrote to Meadows that she was angry with then-Vice President Mike Pence for not taking the steps necessary to block the certification of the election results.

“We are living through what feels like the end of America. Most of us are disgusted with the VP and are in a listening mode to see where to fight with our teams. Those who attacked the Capitol are not representative of our great teams of patriots for DJT!! Amazing times. The end of Liberty.”

How disgusted were you, Ginnni?

What was Ginni doing on January 6th when America’s democracy was being threatened?

What if some the missing hours of phone logs were between Ginni and Don. Let’s imagine their conversation.

The Don: Ginni, isn’t this amazing what’s going on out there? The love, the love Ginni. No other president has ever had this kind of love.

Ginni: Never, Donald. You are a hero, and justice will be done. You will be restored to your proper place, and  prevent a communist takeover by the Dems. You will be reinstated in no time, don’t you worry.

Don: Do you love me Ginni?

Ginni: What a silly question. Besides Clarence, I love no one more. Remember that night when we…

Don: And then Melania showed up.

Ginni: Bitch. She doesn’t love you the way I do. You know that. By the way, you are speaking to me on one of those burner phones I sent you.

Don: Of course, G. Do you think I’m stupid? I took it right out of the box labeled Ginni.

Ginni: You have a box of burn phones with my name on it? Are you crazy? Get rid of that box now. Do you hear me?

Don: Don’t get so heated. I’ll take care of it now, though I hate to walk away from the TV. It’s such an amazing spectacle to see all the great patriots fighting for America’s freedom, fighting for me.

Ginni: Go right now. Throw out this phone, and call me back on a new one.

Don: But this one still has some minutes on it.

Ginni: Donald! Please, just do what I say.

Don: Anything for you, G. Maybe we can meet up? You can come over, and we can watch the patriots take back what is ours. We could have a Monica Lewinsky moment on the oval office desk. Have to say that Clinton was a sly devil. What do ya think?

Ginni: As much as I am so hot for you now, it probably isn’t a wise thing for me to be hanging out with you watching the siege on the Capitol. People might get the wrong idea, don’t you think?

Don: You are probably right, but when I’ m reinstalled we will make it happen.

Ginni: Absolutely. Now can YOU PLEASE BURN THAT PHONE! And get rid of the box that has my name on it.

      (A few minutes pass. Then phone rings)

Don: Ginni?

Ginni: Who else do you think it is, the Queen of England?

Don: Love your sense of humor Gin. Melania is such a sourpuss. No sense of humor. She won’t even watch this beautiful thing that’s unfolding. Did I miss anything good while I was dealing with the phone thing?

Gin: Did you get rid of the box? You did what? Are you shitting me? You crossed it out with magic markers. What are you in kindergarten? Now go down there and destroy the box with my name on it.

Don: Oh look, there’s this guy with his feet up on Nancy Pelosi’s desk. When I am back in power, I am going to invite him to the White House. And look there’s the guy with the horns. Mr. Q, I’ve already had him to the White House, but he was dressed as an F.B.I. agent and was lead in by Mark Meadows. Wasn’t that clever Ginni? And what’s going on with Pence? Is he going to change his mind and do the right thing?

Ginni: We are working on that. Where do you think the noose idea came from? Great scare tactic. Clever, don’t you think?

Don: Brilliant: What could be more frightening for a White Supremacist like Mikey to be offed that way. Terrifying. Ginni you are a genius. Makes me want you even more. Are you sure you don’t want to come over? Talking to you over the phone is making it hard for me to concentrate. We could sneak you in like we did the Q man.

Ginni: Donald get a hold of yourself. You got to get rid of the box with my name on it. Please Donald.

Don: Look, look at what’s happening. By the way, is Clarence watching?

Ginni: He’s in heaven. You know he’s your biggest fan.

Don: Oh shit, the phone is about to die. Oh my God, do you see the way they beat up on those traitor policeman?

Ginni: Donald my love, you must get rid of the box with my name on it!

Don: Love you Ginni. When I return to power would you like to be my new Vice President?

Ginni: Oh Donald I…

        (Phone goes dead.)

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