The Dunce Brigade

As the information about The Don and his documents becomes more known… Wait, did I just say his documents? After all, they were in his house, weren’t they? You can’t just come into someone’s home and take things. Right? That’s outrageous! Right? That’s stealing, bold face robbery. Right?

It didn’t matter that he and his lawyers were told the F.B.I. was coming to remove the documents that belonged to the National Archives; it didn’t matter that he knew he shouldn’t have the documents. None of that matters to The Don because he makes the rules. 

Imagine him as a young child playing a game with another child. How long before that child screamed: “Hey that’s not fair, that’s not how you play the game. You are not following the rules. Now give me my game back.” “ No way, the game is in my house now, so it’s mine.” The Don would be the “greatest” in the one-and-done playdate contest.

As more facts emerge (that there were 700 hundred pages of documents ) and his delusion of executive privilege is punctured, it is getting harder and harder for him to find competent lawyers  to represent him. After all, his pit bull and Mr. Competence, Rudy G, is too busy trying to stay out of jail himself.

At this point, it is hard to find lawyers who want to be associated with him. It kind of reminds me of the children’s book I read to my kids called “Are You My Mother?” It is a story about a baby bird searching for its mother. It asks a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a cow if they are his mother, but none of them are. It even asks a car, a boat, and a plane if they are his mother.

For clarity sake, let’s review the basic facts and what any lawyer would be up against in defending The Don:

The documents he had are government property.  

Executive privilege goes away when you are no longer president. 

Holding onto these documents by an ex-president is against the law

Stating that you have returned them all when you haven’t is obstructing justice, considering many were top secret.

So what could the defense be? Well, the train has left the station on the “they were placed there” defense as The Don has actually pushed his lawyers to get the documents back! I guess they could say: “Hey look, you guys (The F.B.I.) put them here and they were kind of cool and now I want them back. In other words, you can’t bring a toy to my house and then take it back. It’s unfair!

This week his legal wizards were informed by a Florida judge that they had bungled routine paperwork to take part in a suit filed following the F.B.I. ‘s search of Mar-a-Lago. The judge addressed this error by saying “a sample motion can be found on the Court’s website.” Rumor has it that her original response was: ARE  YOU SHITTING ME WITH THIS IDIOCY!  ARE THE TWO OF YOU ACTUALLY LAWYERS OR JUST PRETENDING TO BE?

The Florida judge also questioned whether she even had the jurisdiction to hear the case and asked the lawyers what the motion was asking her to do? Rumor has it that the filed motion had something to do with the judge playing golf at Mar-a-Lago.

Then in a feat of total tomfoolery the conservative journalist, John Solomon, posted a letter The Don’s legal team had received back in May from the National Archives (link to the letter ) on its website believing it would help The Don’s cause, which,  included that The Don had retained more than 700 pages of documents with classified markings, including some at the most restricted level. Oops!

Then on Friday, after the clamoring of Republicans the affidavit justifying the search was released; and once again, rather than revealing information that could be helpful to The Don, it just made the D.O.J’s case that much clearer.  The affidavit showed that the archives asked Mr. Trump in May 2021! That means the Justice Department had been in conversation for 15 months trying to get all the documents before the search warrant was executed. 

The affidavit included a letter from May 2022 that showed that Mr. Trump’s lawyers knew that he might be in possession of classified materials (after he returned some and stated he no longer was in possession of any more), and the government wanted them returned.

The affidavit stated there was “probable cause to believe that evidence of obstruction will be found” at Mr. Trump’s house. 

The only thing left for the coterie of  dunces to do is to divulge the communications between The Don and Putin about the documents.

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