Some Serious Hand-Wringing

There have been some serious revelations of hand-wringing reported recently. 

For instance take Mike Pence, our reluctant national hero. After all, he was the only thing standing between us and a constitutional crisis which threatened our democracy. What he did, by allowing the electoral votes to be counted, after the infamous insurrection, was, umm, do his job? But according to a note obtained by Jack Smith’s team, Pence was under so much pressure from The Don to refrain from his duties to count the electoral votes, he momentarily decided he would skip the proceedings altogether. To quote Pence, “too many questions” and it would be “too hurtful to my friend.” Speaking with Smith’s team, Pence insisted his loyalty to President Trump at the time never faltered — “My only higher loyalty was to God and the Constitution.” According to sources, The Don suggested to Pence that he not show; and let someone with some guts, like Chuck Grassley, who would be next in line to run the proceedings. Perhaps The Don suggested Pence call out with a stomach virus or say he was in a car accident? You know, streak yourself with red paint and go to the emergency room. If you aren’t comfortable with that approach, I can always arrange for someone to run you over.

Pence knew that what The Don was trying to do was wrong. Once again from testimony to Jack Smith: “I told him I thought there was no idea more un-American than the idea that any one person could decide what electoral votes to count. I made it very plain to him that it was inconsistent with our history and tradition.” Despite these strong and unambiguous statements, Pence was considered skipping the proceedings? His loyalty to The Don was third to “God and the constitution?” Did he still feel that way after he encouraged his angry minions hunting him down yelling “Hang Mike Pence?” Did the clarion call for his head bring The Don down a rung on the loyalty ladder and get replaced by his family? Well, thank God for his family, because on the fateful Christmas eve in 2019, he decided he would bow out and let someone else preside. Luckily for us, he was having dinner with his family and his son, a Marine, said:  “Dad, you took the same oath I took” — it was “an oath to support and defend the Constitution.”

Then Liz Cheney, in her tell all book “Oath and Honor”, revealed the painful hand-wringing of Kevin McCarthy. According to Cheney, McCarthy told her just two days after Election Day that he had talked to Trump and that Trump acknowledged he had lost the 2020 election .“He knows it’s over,” McCarthy said, according to the her new tell-all book. “He needs to go through all the stages of grief.” But low and behold, in an incidence of hand-wringing rarely seen, McCarthy went on Fox News that same day and said, “President Trump won this election,” Cheney writes, “McCarthy knew that what he was saying was not true.”

Then after the January 6th insurrection, McCarthy who knew The Don lost and was disgusted by the attack on the Capitol building made a speech condemning The Don and placing the responsibility for the frightening events of the day squarely on The Don. That brings me to my favorite hand-wringing episode, when after condemning The Don, he went down to Mar-a-Lago to kiss his ring, to beg for forgiveness because he had become an outcast in his own party for standing up for democracy, Cheney reveals her conversation with McCarthy. 

“Mar-a-Lago? What the hell, Kevin?” Cheney asked.

“They’re really worried,” McCarthy said. “Trump’s not eating, so they asked me to come see him.”

“What? You went to Mar-a-Lago because Trump’s not eating?” Cheney responded.

“Yeah, he’s really depressed,” McCarthy said. Poor, poor Donald. So Kevin, you sold your soul to bring The Don some Big Macs and Fries?

The hand-wringing has finally come to an end in the case of George Santos. The Offals decided enough is enough. The stench of George Santos’ fabrications, fraudulent, and most likely criminal, behavior was making them feel like all their clothes smelled of puke and cigarette smoke. They decided that they could no longer bear the Santos stain on their brand.

The congressional ethics committee’s report detailed substantial evidence of the congressman funneling campaign funds to cover personal expenses, including at luxury retailers, on cosmetic procedures and on travel. My personal favorites include: $4,127 at Hermès, “smaller purchases” at OnlyFans, a website that hosts adult content, a makeup store, Sephora and $6,000 at Ferragamo. 

For someone who has a made up identity, he sure spent a lot of money making himself up! Rumor has it that Santos feels so unfairly abandoned and maligned by his colleagues, that he is going to release a list of those who shared that they too love shopping on “Only Fans.” 

Santos was a true fabulist! He built his congressional campaign around his backstory as a successful man of means: a grandson of Holocaust survivors and graduate from Baruch College with a Master’s in Business Administration from New York University, who went on to work at Citi Group and Goldman Sachs, owned multiple properties, and was the beneficiary of a family trust worth millions of dollars left by his mother, who passed years after the 9/11 terrorist attacks as a result of long-term health effects related to being at one of the towers. According to the ethics committee report: “No part of that backstory has been found to be true.” Makes me think that his antics really pervert the sentiment that parents convey to their children that they “can be anything they want to be.” 

Of course, revulsion and outrage over egregious lies, fraud and fabulism have their limits. Who else embodies this? Umm? Tennessee Republican Mark Green referred to  him as the ‘Orange Jesus.” And oddly enough, The Don had a 9/11 fabrication as well, except his was so much more egregious than Santos’s poor mother who didn’t die of health related concerns. His fabrication was that he lost “hundreds of friends” on 9/11. Of course, The Don had to lose more people than anyone! His statement was a desecration to those that did actually lose someone. Not only was this a lie, but he also lied because he actually doesn’t have any friends (and my guess never has), not in the true sense of the word. What he has is transactions. He has never had any authentic interactions with anyone, including his own children. He is incapable of it. 

Let’s follow the fault line of the Republicans hypocrisy further by looking at the offenses Santos was indicted for and see how The Don measure’s up. Below are most of the counts of indictment. (Santos’ indictment are in italics.)

• one count of conspiracy to commit offenses against the United States. The Don certainly did this in a manner that no other president has come close to. He tried to overturn the results of an election and fomented an insurrection at the Capitol. 
• two counts of wire fraud. The Don is currently prosecuted by the state of New York for tax and insurance fraud. He will be prosecuted for wire fraud by Alvin Bragg, the N.Y. District Attorney, in the Stormy Daniels’ case.
• Two counts of making materially false statements to the Federal Election Commission. Forget about making false statements to the election committee, that’s peanuts; he tried, in multiple ways, to overturn the election.
• Two counts of falsifying records submitted to obstruct the FEC. Talk about obstruction. The Don will be prosecuted for illegally possessing top secret documents and then obstructing the Justice Department in their attempt to retrieve them. He also revealed some of the content of documents jeopardizing U.S. security and other countries.,
• Seven counts of wire fraud. (See two counts of wire fraud above)
• Three counts of money laundering. Federal prosecutors in New York involved in the criminal investigation into Donald Trump’s social media company last year started examining whether it violated money laundering statutes in connection with the acceptance of $8million with suspected Russian ties, according to sources familiar with the matter.
• One count of theft of public funds. The amount of people The Don has ripped off in his life is unknowable, but it is vast. Everyone from construction workers, to people he scammed to enroll in his Trump University (He had to pay $25 million in a settlement to aggrieved parties), using money for his “charity” for personal use (which was ultimately shut down!), and many more.
• Two counts of making materially false statements to the United States House of Representatives. I don’t know if The Don ever made a special appearance in from of the House of Representatives, but if he did, the amount of lies he would have told, given that many of the things he says are lies, would have sure outpaces Santos.

Given the above, I think Santos has a real beef to pick with his buddies. Rumor has it that after his expulsion from the House he was heard to mutter: “Trump lies all the time and people love him. He’s indicted and they love him more. WTF? Isn’t that the path to success in politics?