The Don had a really, really bad week. He was found guilty of fraud for falsely inflating his assets to get favorable treatment by banks. The penalty: 355 million dollars (450 million dollars if you include interest that has accrued!) If you add in the E. Jean Carrol settlement, he owes over a half a billion dollars. The judge also barred the Don and his two cheating sons from doing any business in New York for a few years and from getting loans from any bank that does business in New York. They actually got off easy as N.Y. State Attorney General Letitia James hoped they would be banned for life from doing business in New York State.
Ms. James took to the podium after the judge announced the penalty from the civil law suit:
“Today, justice has been served. This is a tremendous victory for this state, this nation and for everyone who believes that we all must play by the same rules – even former presidents. For years, Donald Trump engaged in massive fraud to falsely inflate his net worth and unjustly enrich himself, his family and his organization.”
“Now, Donald Trump is finally facing accountability for his lying, cheating, and staggering fraud. Because no matter how big, rich, or powerful you think you are, no one is above the law.”
Now, that’s what you call a “drop the mic” statement. That’s right Don, no one is above the law. Pow!
Not surprisingly, The Don came to his own defense: https://apnews.com/video/new-york-fraud-letitia-james-legal-proceedings-donald-trump-c317a5a94f5e4a4ca46ca1b3c9a9c307
Yes Don: “Great business, great cash, perfect business.” Let’s translate into reality: numerous bankruptcies, maybe not so much cash, and fraudulent and criminal enterprise.
The Don is expected to appeal the decision, but he has to come up with the money pronto. If he doesn’t, Ms. James is ready to go back to the court to ensure she gets the money and if necessary seize assetts.
If having to pay a half billion dollars isn’t enough to disrupt his sleep, The Don ‘s “hush money” trial (remember Stormy Daniels?) will start on March 25th. Unlike the civil trial, this is a criminal trial, which means if convicted he could go to jail. What gets lost in the salacious story of “Don and the Porn Star” is the fact that his payments to her qualify as election interference, a federal crime.
The Don, the fraudster and rapist, is the first president of our country to be put on trial (hopefully, multiple trials!). Soon we will be able to add “convicted criminal” to his resume. The fact that he has a chance to return to the White House is mind-blowing. Chaos, autocracy, White Christian Nationalism, and Putin lover be damned. American voters want their orange Jesus. American exceptionalism at its finest.
I could go on about the voters who have decided The Don is their savior despite his past heinous actions, and the future ones he openly states he will commit if he wins the election; but for now, I want to talk about the humiliation he must feel as a member of the “Babysitter’s Club.”
Along with the financial wallop, the final ruling calls for the Trump Organization to be run essentially by an independent monitor, who was originally appointed by the court in 2022, and a new independent compliance director. Not one, but two financial babysitters.
The two court appointed babysitters get to audit and track all his financial transactions. Can you think of anything more humiliating than that? The big man has to ask for an allowance? How would that work?
The Don: Listen, it’s my money, so go to hell.
Monitor: Yes it is, but you can’t spend it unless I say so.
The Don: What you are doing is criminal.
Imposter: I think you got that backwards. If you weren’t a criminal then I wouldn’t be doing this.
The Don: No one tells me how to spend my money!
Monitor; Doesn’t it suck that I do? It’s like you have to ask mommy for your allowance.
The Don: You are a sick woman.
Monitor: That statement will get your allowance docked for this week.
The Don: You are a puppet of the radical left wing, rigged justice system in this country and when I am elected I am going put you and that psychotic judge who appointed you, along with all the people prosecuting me, into an internment camp.
Monitor. Now you are docked for a month. No money even to buy Big Macs, or to pay for your tannings that keep your skin orange.. And forget the hairstylist that creates the illusion that you have a lot of hair.
The Don: Please not my tannings, not my hair stylist. You are fucking with my brand.
Monitor: Apologize.
The Don: I never apologize.
Monitor: Fine with me. Better yet, tell mommy you are sorry for being a bad boy.
The Don: Go to hell.
Monitor: See ya.
The Don: Momma. Fuck, I mean…
Monitor: Yes dear. Go to your room. There will be no dinner for you. You’re such a bad boy. If I hear one more peep out of you you’ll never see the inside of a tanning room again.
The Grand Offal Party 