Conversation between 3 Republican politicians named Gee, Gosh, and Golly- Louie Gohmert, Matt Gaetz, and Paul Gosar?
Gee: That event we threw at the Capital building got a bit rowdy, didn’t it?
Gosh: Did you see that guy with the Viking costume? I think he forgot to read the part of the invitation that was about dress codes, where it said: “No costumes allowed.”
Golly: No accounting for bad taste. Personally, I was hoping to see more of them Hawaii type shirts. You know the ones that all flowery and stuff?
Gee: Totally, the entire place looking like a Boogaloo Boys Village. How cool would that have been? Those patriots have such a bad rap. What kind of violence can come from people wearing Hawaii type shirts?
Gosh: They also forgot to read the part that told them to leave their weapons at the hotel, but I guess with BLM everywhere, they needed to defend themselves.
Gee: BLM, now that’s the problem, but at least they read the part about bringing flags. Didn’t it just give you goosebumps to see our flag carried through the Capitol building?
Gosh: I must admit I got a little teary. True patriots in the peoples’ building showing love of country.
Golly: Second that, Gosh. And guys, I must admit that when I saw the Confederate flag my heart fluttered.
Gee: Look Gosh, Golly is blushing; turning a bit red under the neck, Golly?
Golly: No, I’m not. I’m not a blusher.
Gee and Gosh: Blusher, blusher, Golly is a blusher.
Golly: You guys are assholes!
Gee: Come on Golly, you know we are just goshing, oops, I a mean joshing you… Hey, wasn’t that something watching them put up the noose?
Gosh: I must admit when I saw that I was a little bit like WTF; I didn’t see anything on the invitation that suggested that a lynching was part of the tour.
Golly: Yeah, it didn’t mention BYON.
Gee: Ha! Ha! BYON, like BYOB. Golly you really crack me up.
Gosh: What the hell you guys talking about? BYON?
Golly: Come on Gosh, put on your thinking cap.
Gosh: Shit you mean “Bring your own noose!” OMFG! You guys are too much.
Gee: It did suck that some police officers didn’t understand that the people were there at the invitation of the president.
Golly: Real shame. I heard one police officer lost an eye, another the tip of his finger.
Gosh: I heard that another was shocked so many times with a Taser gun that he had a heart attack.
Gee: A few suffered cracked ribs and two smashed spinal disks and multiple concussions.
Gee: At least 81 members of the Capitol force and 65 members of the Metropolitan Police Department were injured. But I was listening to Tucker the other night and said those police officers were paid actors, ANTIFA posing as police. Can you believe how low people will go?
Golly: Anything to discredit our president.
Gosh: And everyone is talking about our main man Andy Clyde. He got it right when he said:
“You know, if you didn’t know the TV footage was a video from January the 6th, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.”
Gee: Yeah, really. If it had been January 7th, a day when the vote wasn’t being certified, it would have been a normal tourist visit.
Golly: And then they show those bogus photos of Andy during the event that showed our buddy, with his mouth wide open rushing toward the doors to the House gallery and helping barricade them to prevent the tourists from entering.
Gosh: I claim Photoshop. If you look at the photo closely you can see it really isn’t him
Gee: You are so right. Will you look at that! Completely doctored up. What have we come to as a country when we can’t believe anything anyone does? It is just lies, and lies, and more lies.
Golly: And they are going after our fearless leader Kevin.
Gosh: The tape they have of him urging the president to “do something” (exact) is just a farce. If you listen closely, you can hear him saying “You should do something nice for Melania as I hear she has been unhappy with you.”
Gee: Who are these people in the media that tell these lies? What kind of fools do they think the American people are?
Golly: And now the commie Dems want to have a commission to investigate all this.
Gosh: Wasting our taxpayer money once again.
Gee: Yeah, like that Covid relief thing.
Golly: Giving out money to needy losers.
Gosh: That’s what socialists do. That’s why we need to bring back president to put people in their place.
Gee: Back to that commission thing. Who has a commission about a tourist event? What kind of country are we living in where patriotic tourists become the targets of an investigation?
Golly: The good news is that our Old Mitchy Boy, our very own Grim Reaper, will be shutting it all down. Three cheers to Mitch.
Gee: Yeah, cheers to Mitch. But guys, honestly what do you think about what we are doing?
Gosh: Doing?
Gee: You know, making it seem that it was all a farce? I mean, if I’m honest, I was fucking shitting in my pants.
Golly: Well, now that we are being honest, I called my wife to tell her I loved her.
Gosh: I actually was with Andy Clyde barricading the door.
(They all break into a raucous laughter)
The Grand Offal Party 