Flush It Down

Were people actually shocked that The Don flouted the Presidential Records Act, which required him to preserve written communications concerning his official duties? Come on people, The Don was the child who tried to flush his report card down the toilet for fear of what his sadistic and terrifying father would do to him when he saw it. 

And old habits die hard. While he was president, staff in the White House residence periodically discovered wads of printed paper clogging a toilet — leading them to believe that he had attempted to flush documents, according to people familiar with the situation. He was known to do the same on foreign trips.

Rumor has it that he backed up the entire plumbing system in one foreign hotel. At one point, a stream of documents with intelligence information floated down the hall and was found by another guest. When asked about the situation, The Don claimed that what the guest found was just the strangest toilet paper he had ever used. “Who puts writing on toilet paper?” he said.

And what about the boxes of documents he took to Mar-a-Lago, which is also a no-no. Of course, he claims there are only beautiful memorabilia like the letter Obama left for him when he was first sworn in. (Frankly, I am surprised about this one, as I thought it would be the first thing he flushed down the toilet, or used for toilet paper given his disdain for anything and everything related to the former president!) Of course there were the cherished letters written to Mr. Trump by the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un. According to those in the know, The Don is in conversation with a publishing company to write a memoir called: “Deep Love,” which explores the beauty of his relationship with the Korean leader. Next up, “A Deeper Love” which explores his relationship with Putin.” 

Also included in the boxes was a map Mr. Trump famously drew on with a black Sharpie to demonstrate the track of Hurricane Dorian heading toward Alabama in 2019 to back up a declaration he had made on Twitter that contradicted weather forecasts. If you recall, The Don  claimed the Weather experts were wrong. Three years later he is still insisting he was right despite the fact that he was 100% wrong. Not only does he still insist he was correct (not unlike insisting he won the election!) but he has decided to turn the photo into wallpaper and redecorate all his bathrooms with it as a reminder of his brilliance.

Rumor has it that now that the Don is under pressure to return the documents, he has decided to organize a treasure hunt at Mara-a-Lago as a way of padding his campaign war chest. Promises of the value of owning a piece of history that he created has his devoted followers chomping at the bit.. For an entrance fee of $100,000 you get to roam the property in hope of discovering a cherished keepsake (before the government seizes them!).

Further flouting of the Presidential Records Act, include tearing up documents and missing time periods in the president’s phone logs. Rumor has it that The Don, in collaboration with Hasbro (makers of Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit and Candyland) is creating a series of puzzles in which you can put together some of the classified documents he ripped up.

Then we have the missing call logs. The House committee investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol has discovered gaps in official White House telephone logs from the day of the riot, finding few records of calls by President Donald J. Trump from critical hours when investigators know that he was making them. To this I say: Remember Watergate and how the discovery of the missing minutes of the tape brought down Nixon!

All of the above actions are egregious and potentially criminal but they pale in comparison to The RNC’s  statement regarding the January 6th insurrection.

“Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger crossed a line,” Ronna McDaniel, the Republican National Committee chairwoman, said in a statement. “They chose to join Nancy Pelosi in a Democrat-led persecution of ordinary citizens who engaged in legitimate political discourse that had nothing to do with violence at the Capitol.” (After the vote, party leaders rushed to clarify that language, saying it was never meant to apply to rioters who violently stormed the Capitol in Mr. Trump’s name.)

And that was the toned down version. The original version had this sentence:  “Democrat-led persecution of ordinary citizens engaged in nonviolent and legal political discourse.”

I guess the fact that five police officers died and more than a 100 were injured was a bridge even too far for our “true patriots.” Still: “Legitimate political discourse?” When did chanting to kill the vice president become legitimate political discourse?

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