The Mother of All Indictments

Three indictments, and certainly one more to go, in Georgia. 

Seventy Eight counts in all. I’m hoping Fani Willis in Georgia finds 22 more so we can get to 100.
A hundred just sounds so cool. A fat, round 100. 

In this indictment, Special Council Jack Smith puts The Don at the heart of three overlapping conspiracies: a conspiracy to “defraud the United States” in his efforts to subvert the results of the 2020 election; a conspiracy to “corruptly obstruct” the counting and certification of election results on Jan. 6; and a conspiracy to disenfranchise American voters by trying to override legitimate votes. In addition, the indictment lays out a litany of episodes in which campaign advisers, White House officials, top Justice Department lawyers, speakers of statehouses and election administrators, all told Mr. Trump his claims about “outcome-determinative fraud” in the election were false. Mr. Trump nonetheless kept repeating them.

In true Don form, rather than be humbled and haunted,  he is emboldened and brazen.

At a Republican Party dinner in Montgomery Alabama, the day after the third indictment, The Don was standing tall next to one of his main squeezes, Tommy Teletubbie Tuberville. (If you recall Tuberville was one of the people The Don called during the January 6th riot. Rumor has it that The Don wanted to chat about how cool it was.) 

The Don roused the crowd with his defiance. 

“Every time they file an indictment, we go way up in the polls. We need one more indictment to close out this election.” 

This is The Don’s version of the wannabe angel Clarence Odbody”s refrain in Frank Capra’s classic It’s a Wonderful Life: “Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.” To translate: “Every time I am indicted, the devil’s chances of becoming president increases.”
This is The Don’s version of the wannabe angel Clarence Odbody”s refrain in Frank Capra’s classic It’s a Wonderful Life: “Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.” To translate: “Every time I am indicted, the devil’s chances of becoming president increases.”

https://youtu.be/j1ZYozXa154

Ultimately, the do-gooder Clarence, gets his wings by saving Jimmy Stewart from drowning himself and shows him that the world would be a lesser place without him. So who can we turn to to save us from the terrifying possibility that a diabolical man will drown our democracy, destroying our better angels? 

Could it be the man who refers to his wife as “mother”? Could it be the man The Don referred to as “too honest” because he wouldn’t go along with his shenanigans to prevent the counting of the electoral votes? Could it be the man who claims to be of great moral character, Mike Pence? Would the sycophant and panderer supreme final have a come-to-Jesus moment. Did his pastor finally sit him down and read him the riot act? 

“Mikey, you must make a choice. You have walked side-by-side with the devil for way too long hoping to get him to see the light, but darkness has prevailed. It is time for you to give up your ambitions of becoming president and bring the devil to its knees. You must speak the truth, consequences be damned.” 

“But pastor, I didn’t go along with the plan. I did stand up to the devil.”

“Mikey, give me a break. You carried that man’s water for all those years. And if you had to speak to former Vice President Dan Quayle for reassurance, who you reported didn’t remember he was once the vice president…as I said Mikey, give me a break. And furthermore, I advised you what to do and you still needed to ask Quayle. That hurt my feelings. So now it’s time to stand in front of the lord and save this great Christian nation. I would have thought that the chant of “Hang Mike Pence, Hang Mike Pence” would have been a bridge too far, but even that wasn’t enough. Your vanity and wish to be president has moved you away from the lord.” Or maybe it wasn’t the pastor. Maybe it was “mother” saying: “Mikey, if you don’t stand up to this man, I will never dress up as your mother when…”

Or maybe it was the pastor, who had previously absolved Mrs. Pence for her kinkiness when she told him she dressed up as Mikey’s mother when… Maybe it was the pastor who had a change of heart and “unabsolved” Mrs. Pence, warning her she would rot in hell if she continued her perverse ways unless she laid down the law and confronted Mikey, demanding he make a choice: “It’s me or him. You either stand up to the devil, or I am no longer your devilish playmate.”

Turns out Pence spoke some truth to Jack Smith’s team. In response to one of The Don’s lawyers, John Lauro, who claimed that The Don just asked for a pause in the counting of the electoral votes (which by the way is an admission of a crime in itself, as it is an interference of the process!). Pence said: “It wasn’t just that they asked for a pause; the president specifically asked me, and his gaggle of crackpot lawyers asked me, to literally reject votes.”

Pretty damning wouldn’t you say? Rumor has it that Jack Smith asked Pence why he was spilling the beans now and never stated this before  to the January 6th committee. Pence: “mother.”

Smith responded: Well, I thank your mother. Pence replied: “ No, not my mother but “mother,” I call my wife ‘Mother’ Smith looked at a colleague and said: “WTF?”

Turns out there is more damning evidence included in the indictment that shows that after The Don told his loved ones to go home, acknowledging how upset they must be that the election was stolen, his attempt to stop the electoral count proceedings continued. He continued to call senators asking them to delay the vote and as late as 11:30 that evening The Don and co-conspirator number one, Rudy G., wrote emails to Pence’s White House counsel urging Pence to hold off counting the electoral votes. 

For my money, this makes Pence the star witness. He can testify to being asked to collude with obstructing the transfer of power by delaying the vote. Talk about drama, the moment of truth. “Too honest” Pence on the stand swearing to tell the truth, and consummate liar, The Don, glaring at him; “mother” in the back of the courtroom beaming with pride at her Mikey intimating: Yes, Mikey, “mother” is here with you. Now you be a good boy and “mother” will see you later at the hotel. The defense rests!